“What would you do with a brother [who allows his wife to work with other men], my brothers of faith? You take him for a walk, and you come back alone, leaving him there… because he does not deserve to live as a decent person”
– Imam Said Rageah
Many non-Muslims in the West wonder what triggers ‘honour killings’ like that of the Shafia Sisters. Though he does not link the two, but Saudi-trained Canadian cleric Saeed Rageah explains the concept of ‘ghirah’ or jealousy, and why it should be encouraged among young men and husbands as an illustration of their manhood.
The following are excerpts of his lecture with the transcript below the video:
“Also something that we are not doing it is [that] we no longer have the ghairah [protective jealousy] that is needed. There is no ‘ghairah’ in us, my brothers to faith (اخوتي في الله) nowadays. There is no jealousy.
Meaning (يعني) you don’t have that ‘ghairah’ [protective jealousy], that manhood. Glorious is God [سبحان الله].
And when a man looks at your sister or your wife and her brother passes by what should you [her brother] do? Knocking him out. Right? But, he [instead reacts by saying]:
“O well, how are you? She is my sister. He is Dayyuth (هذا ديوث).”
That is not acceptable. You know, you should introduce your sister, no, no, no, no, no, no. Unacceptable, O my brothers to faith (اخوتي في الله).
I told you the story of the [Quranic] verse [اية] and the ruling [حكم] of a man finding another man with his wife. What is the ruling initially? The ruling was: go and get four witnesses. Sa’ad bin Muaz (سعد بن معاذ) said [فقال], Sa’ad bin Ubaada [سعد بن عبادة], i’m sorry, and you know Sa’ad bin Ubaada, may Allah be pleased with him [رضي الله عنه].
Sa’ad bin Ubaada was the man [who] got married and the family delivered the wife on a horse, and as soon as she got off the horse, what did he do? He took his dagger and killed the horse…
He said: no, no man will sit where my wife sat. That’s how his jealousy was. No, no, no. Let him live, let the horse live. No. [لا]. In the path of Allah it is a halal sacrifice [في سبيل الله حلال ذبيحة] on the spot. No. Meaning [يعني] Just the thought [that] five years later man sat [sic] in the same spot. He wouldn’t sleep with that thought and he killed the horse.
“He said: I swear by Allah, O the Messenger of Allah [والله يا رسول الله], I swear by Allah [والله] I will kill them both with the back of my sword. Meaning [يعنى] he [didn’t] come with the edge of his sword, [but] the back, so they’d die slowly. That’s how he wants to kill them.
So [Muhammad’s] companions [صحابة] [said]: “How could you say that Messenger of Allah (peace and blessing be upon him).”
The Messenger of Allah [Prophet Muhammad] said:
“Are you concerned about Sa’ad’s jealousy? I swear by Allah that I’m more jealous than Sa’ad and Allah is more jealous than I.”
Al-Arari, a Bedouin, he was walking with his wife and his wife looked at another man, and he saw that, and he said: go back to your family [الحقي باهلك].
She said: What? It was just a look. And he said this poem to her: إِذَا وَقَعَ الذُّبَابُ عَلَى طَعَامٍ رَفَعْتُ يَدِي وَنَفْسِي تَشْتَهِيهِ وَتَجْتَنِبُ الْأُسُودُ وُرُودَ مَاءٍ إِذَا كَانَ الْكِلاَبُ وَلَغْنَ فِيهِ. Listen to this. He said:
“If a fly lands on my food when I’m eating, and I’m still need to eat that food, I would withdraw my hand from the food, because a fly landed on my food.”
“Meaning, that’s it. I don’t want to put myself to the point that I would eat something that a fly landed on it. When a fly lands on a food [إِذَا وَقَعَ الذُّبَابُ عَلَى طَعَامٍ رَفَعْتُ] I still want to eat that food [رَفَعْتُ يَدِي وَنَفْسِي تَشْتَهِيهِ], I love you. I still love you, but I cannot live with the thought that you looked at someone else. I cannot do this. Though I love you, I will go against my heart. He said: lions don’t drink what the dogs drank from [وَتَجْتَنِبُ الْأُسُودُ وُرُودَ مَاءٍ]. The lions don’t drink from the same spot the dogs drunk from. I can’t.”
And this is what is needed.
But [with regard to] us, we said: it’s ok, she is working with the man in the room, Oh come on, this is life brother Saeed. Why are you guys Wahabis?… Come on. Don’t be too rigid. I trust my wife. If you tell me that I should feel jealous, that means that I don’t trust her. Glorious be Allah [سبحان الله].