History Months for Sale! Limited Supply. Hindus & Sikhs, get your ‘months’ too before them Jews do!

“Perhaps one question that should be asked during Islamic History Month is why so many Muslims leave Islamic countries to live among non-Muslims, while so few non-Muslims apply for citizenship in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan or Iran, the triad of countries that runs modern Islamdom?”

Sun comment masthead

Tarek Fatah
The Toronto Sun

Did you know we’re just completing what Canada’s Parliament has declared as “Islamic History Month”?

Yes, all Octobers in Canada shall be an opportunity for you infidels to learn from my people.

Banner at Ottawa POlice HQ expressing support for "Islamic History Month"

Banner at Ottawa Police HQ expressing support for “Islamic History Month”

Learn about our often bloody history of conquest and enlightenment, including how we Muslims slaughtered our own Prophet Mohammed’s family, right up to modern times when we committed genocides in Bangladesh and Darfur and tried to kill innocent school girls like Malala Yousafzai.

It’s amazing how Canada is providing us Muslims the opportunity to reconcile the crimes and accomplishments of our forefathers, without us having to fear for our lives.

So, now that we have allotted October to Muslims, how about designating every month of the year as a “History Month” for all the religious (and other) groups in Canada?

Let us start with the Sikhs and designate November as “Sikh History Month”.

And what better month to designate as “Christian History Month” than December?

If Catholics and Protestants do not wish to share December, we can have a coin toss and the loser gets January.

We are now left with seven more months (February, as you all know, is already designated as “Black History Month”) to distribute to the other dozen or so religious communities of Canada.

Here is how I propose we should designate the remaining months of the year (and I am hoping some bright MPs in the House of Commons are listening):

January: Catholic or Protestant History Month, depending on who loses the coin toss

February: Black History Month

March: Baha’i History Month

April: Hindu History Month

May: Shinto History Month

June: Buddhist History Month

July: Jain History Month

August: Zoroastrian History Month

September: Rastafarian History Month

October: Well, we all know this month now belongs to my people.

November: Sikh History Month

December: Winner of the coin toss between Catholics and Protestants

So there you have it. And while we’re at it, let’s just change the names of the months and give them names of religions.

So, for example, today’s date would be 30 Islam, 2013 and Canada Day will fall on the 1st of Jain every year.

Wait a minute? Did we forget someone? Ah ha! The Jews!

Don’t they deserve a month to tell their history?

Nah! The Jews have Israel; they can blow their own trumpets over there.

Compared to us Muslims, who have only 54 countries to live in, yet apparently no place to call home, the Jews have it so easy.

Spirit of equality

But now we are still left with Cheondoism, Tenrikyo, Wicca, Seicho-no-Ie, Scientology, Eckankar, Raelism, Druidry and the good old LaVeyan Satanism from the Great Satan himself, just south of the border.

Perhaps we should add a few extra months to the year to accommodate all religious groups in the spirit of equality.

Indeed, the Ottawa police force is already a step ahead of me.

All this month they have been celebrating Islamic History Month with a banner strung up across their headquarters, declaring their partnership with Islamic groups.

I am told Chief Charles Bordeleau has gone out of his way to learn the history of Islam and the Muslim community.

Perhaps one question that should be asked during Islamic History Month is why so many Muslims leave Islamic countries to live among non-Muslims, while so few non-Muslims apply for citizenship in Saudi Arabia, Pakistan or Iran, the triad of countries that runs modern Islamdom?

3 comments for “History Months for Sale! Limited Supply. Hindus & Sikhs, get your ‘months’ too before them Jews do!

  1. Johne544
    August 26, 2014 at 3:53 AM

    Thanks for another magnificent post. Where else may just anybody get that kind of info in such a perfect manner of writing? I have a presentation next week, and I’m at the look for such information. eddafcabefdd

  2. Keval
    January 5, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    Sorry for delayed comment. Hindus believe, one god is worshipped differently by different people, so all history months are in essence Hindu History months.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*